What I Learned
To be honest, running a half-marathon was never something I had planned as a short or long term goal. I’ve never thought of myself as an endurance athlete, and I know that I hardly have a competitive bone in my body. I also have had previous health conditions that led me to believe I could never do something like this. Marathon running, to say the least, was "way out of my comfort zone"! That said, at the start of the new year, I committed to myself that as part of my self-care, I would spend more time outside, on the trail, and in nature. This is one of my greatest loves. I knew training for a trail run marathon would help me to get my feet on the ground more consistently. So when my sister-in-law finally coached me into doing the run with her, I knew I'd also have someone to hold me accountable (accountability partners rock!), so I took the leap!
Little did I know, I would end up being second in my age group for my first half-marathon! How did this happen?!!! Here are a few key tools I learned on the journey:
1. I am stronger than I think.
I realize that there is very little that is not possible with adequate training. I use to have extreme thinking about fitness goals (or goals in general), “If I can only do a half marathon, and not a full marathon what was the point?” “If I can’t do a 3 month silent retreat, what’s the point of a daily 20 minute meditation practice?” This was a form of self-sabotage that held me back from doing small, powerful actions, and instead, I would get caught up on unrealistic, grandiose accomplishments. So what does this have to do with strength? I trained, but I trained smart. By the time race day came, I was ready to go beyond my limits because I had trained realistically and compassionately. Just a year ago, I could not have even thought I would ever run 13 miles straight, let alone a trail run which is full of hills and rocks, and umm, altitude! As one fitness mentor says, “Everyone should run (or walk!) at least one half-marathon, just to see that finish line.” I now have a sense I can take what I have learned from this training, and go past what I “think” I am capable of, and instead focus on going beyond my ideas of “myself.” How does this happen? By simply putting one foot in front of the other, and little by little building energy and endurance reserves. I am stronger than I think.
2.Listen to the body.
My goal was to train smarter, not harder. When my body said no, I listened. When I started my menstrual cycle, I took the day off from training. When something hurt, I took care of it. I let myself make mistakes in training, because I had to. I’ve learned a lot about this from yoga and meditation teachers, which really worked to my benefit while training. Self-care is a must. Perfection doesn’t exist. I stayed gentle with myself (or at least tried!) when I went off the training schedule because I was ill, or my body was exhausted. Even with those off days, I stayed committed to the practice and process whole-heartedly. When I was tempted to ignore my body’s signals, it took away from the pure joy of being on the trail, feeling my feet of the ground, the breath, the beauty of the surroundings. Instead I would focus on hitting certain numbers, pushing as hard as I could to make those numbers, essentially, the goal would become the means. When this would happen, I would gently remind myself “you are doing this for the joy of being in your body and having a body, there is nothing to prove in hurting yourself.” And you know what? The race day was a joy! Pure joy!! Hard as motha, and pure joy! It is safe to listen to the body. Self-care is mandatory.
3. Attitude is Everything.
It sounds so cliché, and I can remember my first gym teacher in Brooklyn, Mr. C, where I grew up, yelling that at me across the gym floor, “Hey Norton, keep your head up, attitude is everything!” I hated when he told me that. I thought it was just something he had to say. And you know what? Mr. C was right. There is very little any of us have control over. What I can decide and have control over is how I see and perceive what happens to me. When I would train, and I started to hit the “runners wall” I would play inspirational podasts, songs, and affirm to myself my own strength. I would encourage that little girl inside of me that never thought she was enough. I would love myself past my ideas of what I thought I was capable of. I would give myself the love, encouragement, and inspiration I needed. In essence, I would be my own Mr.C unto myself. I would see how frustrated and hard the training would get, and remind myself no matter what I am enough. Attitude is truly is everything.
4.Constrain your time to accomplish your goals.
This is a biggie. I am a recovering people pleaser, which means I have had to learn to master what to say “yes” and “no” to. I will no longer commit to something if I know I can not fully see something through to it’s completion. It is as simple as that. I find that I can actually get way more done that are actually in line with my goals when I constrain my time and keep it really simple. When people talk to me and say “Wow, you must be really busy” the truth is that I am not. My life is very full, yes, but this isn't the same as being busy just to be busy. I have time for the things that are most important, which also includes time with those I love, time for a massage, time to take walks, time to have lunch with friends, etc… Each month I pick the main priorities of my life and focus the month on those priorities. So for February, it was all about training for the marathon and getting ready to to go back to school. Simple enough. When people would ask me what I was up to I would explain a bit about my coaching business, yoga teaching, and say “I am training for a marathon, and applying for school.” Done. Not much more to say. Keep it simple. Focus on one goal to its completion. No more starting projects that I cannot finish. No more saying yes when I really mean no. No more saying no when I mean yes. It is amazing what happens when I focus on simplicity. I get more white space in my day, time to dream, time to change direction, time to listen, time to say “yes” and really mean it.
